Best Lines After Spinning Wheels

No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today.  ~Brendan Francis 

Even though it felt as if I chased my tail yesterday, because I did most of yesterday on hold with the telephone company,  at the end of business I achieved the following:

• Details added to storyboard
• 3/4 scene written
• Blog updated
• Found cool quotes to comfort me re: being on hold with the telephone company

Finish each day and be done with it.  You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can.  Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele

Baseball Ready

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite.  Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance.  Everyone is just waiting.  ~Dr. Seuss

One hour is a long time when you’re six and the ball won’t come to you and it’s not your turn to bat yet.  How does this young Derek-Jeter-in-training handle the extra time on his hands?  Cartwheels. 

If MLB would take a few pointers from my nephew’s league, imagine how much more efficient, not to mention entertaining our baseball watching would be.  I’m sure the players would be less stressed, and have more fun as well.  And, the time would pass so quickly, we could do away with the seventh inning stretch. 

So, MLB, take it from the mighty six year old Panthers and make the following exceptions: 

• Four swings only at the ball
• Allow Coach to pitch to players
• Five runs only per inning
• All players must yell “Baseball Ready!”  in chorus between each pitch
• Cartwheels in the infield ok
• Filling baseball caps with infield dirt ok
• Drawing in dirt behind home plate, or any base for that matter, with un-gloved hand ok
• Digging for worms in mud beneath dugout bench ok
• Climbing dugout fence like a colony of ants ok
• After Game Snack Time A-OK

When they start the game, they don’t yell “work ball, ” they say, “play ball” – Willie Stargell, 1981

Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele

Manday Hangover

  The clock talked loud.  I threw it away, it scared me what it talked.  ~Tillie Olsen, Tell Me a Riddle

I have a Manday hangover.  Manday fell on Saturday, April 28th this year.  For a brief moment in spring, footballs replace baseballs as the men in my family make pilgrimage back to home televisions, to gather together to observe Holy Orders broadcast live on sports television.  A moment of silence is observed to recognize the absence of a big brother away on military duty, and brief discussion ensues on whether the also absent fourteen year old male-child is ready to partake in Manday.   At the conclusion of business, den doors close sans the fourteen-year-old, and Draft day services begin. 

Manday is tense, not for the faint of heart, and definately not for a woman trying desperately to hang on to what little estrogen still flows through her body.  I back away from the men on Manday.  Too much Man Talk.  Too much debate.  Too much focus on the clock.  Too much scratching.  My husband actually squeezed his glass coffee canister while making a point during the Why Hasn’t Brady Quinn Gone Yet Drama, shattering it with his bare hands.  Note to self:  buy band-aides to replenish depleted supply in kitchen first-aide kit.

Today as I drive the fourteen year old to school, he studies baseball stats in the scorebook he keeps in the vehicle for just this sort of occasion.  “We should’ve taken Colorado’s kicker,” he offers, never looking up from the batting average table, “He’s amazing, and we really need a kicker.”

I note his Sports-Brain is mature enough to consider two sports simultaneously.  I’m sorry my husband and his brothers miss this developmental milestone, but they’ll be happy to know he’s ready to celebrate Manday with them next year.

Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele

3 Blind Moose, A Monkey and A Boot

Are chilling in my refrigerator.  My job is to pair the appropriate wine with whatever gourmet delicacy my husband creates.  The thing is, I’m not a wine connoisseur.  I merely play one on weekends and special occasions.  So I choose quirky labels that appeal to me, hence the 3 Blind Moose, the Monkey and the Boot.  Tonight’s menu:  grilled grass-fed lamb, sauteed mushrooms in a port reduction, zucchini, roasted beet salad.  What goes with that?  I’m thinking Monkey.   Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele  P.S.  Actual Choice:  Campo Viejo Tempranillo Reserva 2001 (YUM!)

“May you live all the days of your life.”  ~Jonathan Swift 

Stop the MMadness

 The Easter Bunny camme for a visit, bringing with himm a basket full of candy-coated love.  I’ve been jacked up ever since.  Last night, I finished mmy last candy-filled egg and you know, I’mm relieved.  Really.  It’s not like I have to have themm.  I can do without themm you know.  I just eat themm on special occasions and at baseball gammes.  I mmean comme on, doesn’t everybody?  I can stop whenever I want to.  It’s not like I have a problemm or anything.  God mmy head hurts this mmorning.

They say the first step is admitting you’re powerlessness, so here goes:

I admmit I amm powerless and mmy life has becomme unmmanageable.

Just for today, I will abstain fromm mmy drug of choice. 

Carpe Diem Y’all, MMichele

To Tip or Not to Tip: Best Line I’ve Read Today

 

Posted  by: pepperminthotchocolategirl | Apr 3, 2007 11:45:06 AM on http://starbucksgossip.com :

“Can Wal-Mart greeters make for you a quad venti sugar free vanilla soy extra hot no-foam no whip mocha? Didn’t think so.”

Off to  Starbuck’s with Coffee Buddy Kaye.  Carpe diem y’all, Michele

Do Yo Thang Honey….except not in front of the children

 

A Teen’s Plea to Parents: 

Song lyrics Mom and/or Dad are not allowed to sing no matter how catchy the tune or how pulsing the beat.  As a matter of fact, no pulsing.  Or gyrating.  Or any attempt to mimic the belly dancing, booty slapping antics seen on today’s music videos.  And if Mom and/or Dad insist and choose to sing out loud, pulse, gyrate, belly dance and/or booty slap in front of the teenagers, they will be held responsible for any resulting therapy bills incurred by said teenagers:

•  Any song referring ‘my goodies’
• Any song referring to ‘my hump’ and/or ‘my lumps’
• Any song referring to the shaking of the money-maker
• Any song referring to being ‘freaky like that’
• Any corruption of your name and the word ‘delicious’
• The words ‘hit’ and ‘that’ can never be uttered together under any circumstances including but not limited to as an exclamation and/or a question
• Ditto words ‘smack’ and ‘that’
• Any reference to dairy products being used to gather male neighbors to one central location for fun and recreation
• Any song referring to ‘bouncing’
• When referring to ‘riding dirty’, please for the love of God be talking about the family car
• When referring to ‘your grill’, outdoor cooking location references only

For the sake of the children, these are guidelines I can live with.  But when kids aren’t watching or listening, in the words of the oh so limber Christina Aguilera, ‘do yo thang honey!’

Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele

Paradise Rocks

And my soldier son stationed there is fine.  Hawaii was hit by a 6.6 magnitude earthquake yesterday, and they’re still rocking and rolling.  My son slept right through it.  This mother is not surprised.  While waiting for Hawaii to restore power, I took to the internet to research, for I don’t know much about earthquakes, tornadoes being the natural disaster of choice in this neck of the woods.  

According to the Earthquake Center website http://earthquake.usgs.gov/eqcenter/recenteqsus/  there were 609 earthquakes in the United States in the past seven days.  Did I miss something?  I’m pretty sure the only news I’ve heard in the past seven days had to do with World Series Baseball, and Sarah Evans leaving Dancing with the Stars to hang her dirty laundry on the line.

This website is fascinating.  Anything and more you’ve ever wanted to know about earthquakes including the disturbing link:  Earthquakes for Kids, featuring puzzles and games such as: Snell’s Law ‘see the effect of media velocity on reflection and refraction of seismic waves!’ and Home Hazard Wordsearch.  Wee ones can also print off  Earthquake Crosswords and FEMA’s Drop, Cover and Hold coloring sheets for hours of earthquake fun.

As soon as the lights come back on in Hawaii, I’m emailing the coloring sheets, so he’ll know what to do in case he’s awake the next time around.  Carpe Diem y’all, Michele

Scoreboard and Snap

While I’m disappointed that our beloved Dallas Cowboys let us down while visiting the City of Brotherly Love, I’m happy to report the following:

Once again, going into Monday night, I lead my all male, sport’s loving family in NFL football picks for the week.  Me:  11-1; Hubby: 10-2; Son: 8-4; Son: 6-6…to which I say:

Scoreboard

And

 

Snap…..

….because they laugh at the way I make my picks. I think they make it way harder than it has to be.  They study stats, discuss injury reports, breakdown film, consult Mike and Mike, and every other sporty sport late breaking news report i.e. “This just in……in the world of Ladies Golf, let’s check in to see what the girls have to say about T.O.…..”

  Meanwhile I keep it simple.  Feel free to use this tried and true strategy:

• Always  pickDallas (or insert your home team here)
• never  pick Philly (or insert your home team’s nemesis here)
• never pick Washington (ditto the nemesis thing)
• rarely pick Pittsburg (double ditto)
• rarely pick Oakland (triple ditto)
• rarely pick San Francisco (unless they’re playing Oakland)
• Say yes to good-looking quarterbacks (speaks well of offensive line’s ability to protect his pretty face)
• Never  pick the team with the really old or really young quarterback (unless last name Manning)
• Pick Denver at home (other team won’t be able to breathe in high altitude, much less play football)
• If the team wears red, white and/or blue, strongly consider picking them
• Say yes to really cool mascots and/or crazy fans (with the exception of ….insert your home team’s nemesis here) 

We interrupt this story for this late breaking sporty sport news report:  This just in….in the world of play-off baseball…. the Yankees, finished their play-off bid just in time to watch T.O. today….. 

Carpe diem ya’ll, Michele