Carpe Diem Y’all by Michele Bernard

Writer, Texan, Semi-interested Sports Fan

Snow Day

snowflake_3d_38322.jpg“Winter is nature’s way of saying, “Up yours.”  ~Robert Byrne 

 I, like most Native Texans, don’t have the survival skills to live north of the Red River.  Case in point:  Today.  It’s snowing. 

“Should we pick the kids up early from school?” I ask my neighbor, the Ohio transplant.

She laughs.

“Okay,” I reply, not convinced.

The phone rings.  It’s a recorded message from my son’s school.  “School will let out at the usual time, but it is okay if you want to pick your child up early.”

I give into the anxiety that makes me want to stop down, build a fire, and hunker down because white stuff is falling from the sky, I bundle up, jump in my truck and make my way to the school, where every other native is waiting in line with a nervous eye to the sky.

I collect my son and head for the store.  I stand in line with even more natives.  We each purchase the requisite survival gear:  eggs, biscuits, milk, and two fake logs.

Grocery sacks in hand, I brave the elements, dodge the traffic jam in the parking lot and jump in the truck.  I turn the key, then tune into the local radio station. 

“Please do not call 9-1-1 to tell us it’s snowing,” says a representive of the sheriff’s department, “We know,” he concludes, “Our phone lines are jammed and we need to free them up for you know, emergencies.”

Like I said, no survival skills.

Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele


March 7, 2008 Posted by | Her Royal Nerdiness, Michele's Musings, Motherhood, Parenting, Southern Humorists, Winter | 5 Comments

Dad – Mom’s Hogging the Microphone

rock_band_cover.jpg“We weren’t too ambitious when we started out. We just wanted to be the biggest thing that ever walked the planet.” Steven Tyler of Aerosmith

I was over video games when controllers went from two buttons to something resembling a ten-key punch.

Then, last night, my 15 year old opened his birthday present .

Life may never be the same.

(And yes, son, I will pay for your therapy.) 

In the meantime: Rock on party people. 

Game Spot Score 9.0 Editor’s Choice:  Rock Band does a superb job of bringing out the wannabe rock star in all of us, and creates one of the best party-game experiences of all time.  –

Carpe Rockem Y’all, Michele

January 26, 2008 Posted by | Best Lines, Blogroll, Carpe Diem Quotes, Dance, Family, Heart, Her Royal Nerdiness, Humor, Humor Writers, Just Wow, Michele's Musings, Motherhood, Music, Parenting, Winter | 4 Comments

Get it Together Get it Togeter Get it Together

  • 370711782.jpgBegin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go till you come to the end; then stop.”–Lewis Carroll (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland)
  • It’s a gift really. I’m talking about my ability to focus on many things as once.  It’s as if I was otherwise occupied when they passed out the filtering system that tells me that this piece of stimuli is more important than that bit of stimuli.  Most likely I was researching a story idea, that reminded me of another subject I wanted to learn more about, that made me think of this guy I went to school with, that looks alot like the postman, that makes me remember to check the mail, pay the bills, make the grocery list, clean out the junk drawer, return library books, de-clutter the office, not to mention the hall closets, get receipts together for the accountant, work book edit, contact business profile clients, do billing, and oh, and yeah, catch up on blogging. 

    January in Texas equals spring cleaning at my house/home office.  It’s my month to make order out of the chaos that was last year and yesterday.  When do you, and how do you get it together?  Or do you?  Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele

    January 17, 2008 Posted by | Blogroll, Carpe Diem Quotes, Family, Freelance Writing, Her Royal Nerdiness, Michele's Musings, Winter, Writerly Stuff, Writers, Writing | 3 Comments

    On the 12th Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me


    The courtesy of not

    Laughing his butt off

    As he helped me

    Up off the floor

    When I sprained my ankle

    Taking the tree down

    Breakfast for supper

    His favorite chair

    4 icepack treatments

    3 fluffy pillows

    2 more Advil

    And a day of bad reality TV

    January 6, 2008 Posted by | Christmas, Family, Her Royal Nerdiness, Humor, Michele's Musings, Winter | 3 Comments

    Don’t Pay the Ransom

    dance-s.jpgI try to leave out the parts that people skip.  ~Elmore Leonard

    Don’t pay the ransom, I got away and have just enough time to say: 

    :::pause for effect:::

    1.  I finished the YA novel

    :::dance in circle::::

    2.  I said I FINISHED the YA NOVEL

    :::pump arm in air and repeat after me, “Woot Woot”:::

    December 6, 2007 Posted by | Best Lines, Books, Dance, Heart, Her Royal Nerdiness, Just Wow, Michele's Musings, Novel Writing, Novelists, Shameless Self Promotion, Writerly Stuff, Writers, Writing | 2 Comments

    Carpe Beatlemanium

    poster_across-the-universe1.jpgIt’s enough to make a Beatles fan both cringe and grin, sometimes at the same time……I’ll go ahead and say it: I’m embarrassed by how much I liked this movie. – Jeffrey Chen Windows to the Movies 

    “What do you remember about the sixties?” my son asks.

    “I was just kid,” I reply, “I remember I prayed alot.  Mostly for the war in Vietnam to end so Uncle Butch could come home.  And, oh, for God to get Donny Osmond to marry me.  Actually, that was probably the seventies.”  I lose myself in thought. 

    My son loses interest.  The Uncle Butch he knows is a grandfather.  So is Donny Osmond.  I realize I don’t paint the portrait I try to paint for him.  I’m at a loss as to how to answer his question.  The answer is too big and my attention span is too short.  I too lose interest and move on to other thoughts.

    Then I go see the movie musical, Across the Universe.  And there it is:  the answer to my son’s question, a cinematic CliffsNotes on the sixties (or was it the seventies?), a social/cultural documentary told through the words and music of the Beatles detailing the background noise of my childhood.  

    I’m not sure the movie is for everyone, but I for one love it.  The love story:  sweet, the issues: real, picking out the obvious and not-so-obvious symbols strewn throughout the film: as fun as solving a Where’s Waldo puzzle.  At times I feel I need a notepad to keep up. 

    And the music, oh my goodness, the music.  It’s as if hearing these songs for the first time.  I am amazed at how with a slower tempo, a  different voice, or use of a song in an unexpected context can trick my ears into thinking I’ve never heard these words before.  I purchase the two-cd soundtrack within twenty-four hours of watching the movie. 

    The arrangement of Let it Be is the most moving rendition I’ve ever heard.  And Joe Cocker singing Come Together ?  Of course!  Joe Cocker singing Come Together.  He has the perfect rasp to pull it off, and the percussion makes it, dare I say, better than the original version? On a similar note, I truly believe Bono IS the walrus.  All featured artists are fabulous and breathe new life into the words and the music my generation teethed on back in the day.

    I pick my son up at baseball practice, stereo thumping.

    “Gah Mom!  Can you turn that down?”

    “No,” I say, handing him the cd liner notes.

    “What’s this?” 

    “The answer to your question.”


    Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele

    November 1, 2007 Posted by | Beatles, Best Lines, Blogroll, Donny, Family, Her Royal Nerdiness, Just Wow, Michele's Musings, Movies, Music, Parenting, Theater | | Leave a comment

    What Happens in Anti-Vegas Stays in Anti-Vegas

    Nelson, Branson and Andy Williams

    To celebrate my 45th and my son’s 21st, the family loaded up and headed for the mountains.  We stayed here.  We had a fabulous view.  And finding things to do to satisfy ages 14 to 45, not a problem.  We saw a show on Saturday, and another on Sunday, we played miniture golf, road go-carts and bumper boats and we paid homage to the world’s largest ball of string.  This mini-vacation will be remembered as the one where we laughed alot.  Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele     

    October 11, 2007 Posted by | Family, Golf, Heart, Her Royal Nerdiness, Michele's Musings, Theater, Travel | Leave a comment

    Bow Down My Little Nerdlings

    4d33c1955392b282.png As you can see, this Nerd Queen scored rather low in the Technology/Computer category, which explains why even with the handy cut and paste code We (that’s the Royal We to you) couldn’t figure out how to post Our scores in such a way that you the reader can just click and figure out what kind of nerd you are.  Next concern:  should We worry that We know way more about Sci-Fi/Comics than We do History/Literature?  This is  a question only a true Nerd Queen would ask.

    Carpe Diem Y’all, HRN Michele  <<<<royal waves to a member of the Royal Family>>>>>>

    September 13, 2007 Posted by | Family, Her Royal Nerdiness, Humor, Michele's Musings | 8 Comments