Carpe Diem Y’all by Michele Bernard

Writer, Texan, Semi-interested Sports Fan

Snow Day

snowflake_3d_38322.jpg“Winter is nature’s way of saying, “Up yours.”  ~Robert Byrne 

 I, like most Native Texans, don’t have the survival skills to live north of the Red River.  Case in point:  Today.  It’s snowing. 

“Should we pick the kids up early from school?” I ask my neighbor, the Ohio transplant.

She laughs.

“Okay,” I reply, not convinced.

The phone rings.  It’s a recorded message from my son’s school.  “School will let out at the usual time, but it is okay if you want to pick your child up early.”

I give into the anxiety that makes me want to stop down, build a fire, and hunker down because white stuff is falling from the sky, I bundle up, jump in my truck and make my way to the school, where every other native is waiting in line with a nervous eye to the sky.

I collect my son and head for the store.  I stand in line with even more natives.  We each purchase the requisite survival gear:  eggs, biscuits, milk, and two fake logs.

Grocery sacks in hand, I brave the elements, dodge the traffic jam in the parking lot and jump in the truck.  I turn the key, then tune into the local radio station. 

“Please do not call 9-1-1 to tell us it’s snowing,” says a representive of the sheriff’s department, “We know,” he concludes, “Our phone lines are jammed and we need to free them up for you know, emergencies.”

Like I said, no survival skills.

Carpe Diem Y’all, Michele

March 7, 2008 Posted by | Her Royal Nerdiness, Michele's Musings, Motherhood, Parenting, Southern Humorists, Winter | 5 Comments